Free Write 1, Week 9

Did another madlib. Was listening to Three Days Grace and decided to change it up so that it wouldn't be so angsty and cliche. I removed most of the song to avoid repetition. I think you'll find them pretty different though I fear the angst remains in a degree.

Original lyrics:

I’m not sober all the time
You bring me down at least you try
Until we see this eye to eye
I don’t want you

I must be running out of luck
Cause you’re just not drunk enough to fuck
And now I’ve had it up to here
I don’t, I don’t want you

It took so long to see
You walked away from me
When I need you
Wake up I’m pounding on the door
I’m not the man I was before
Where the hell are you
When I need you
Wake up I’m pounding on the door
I won’t hurt you anymore
Where the hell are you
When I need you

(Cut here)

My version, still untitled:

I’m not face-value, I'm bargain brand.
You shop me up from a barrel, dust me
Until we eye the competition, partnered
but I don’t want you.

I must be destitute. I must be drunk. 
There's no dregs of you left 
in the clear-moss bottles on the shelves.
Consumed what's left because I don’t want, 

I don’t want you.

It took so long to rock the faults
You cracked away from me, flatline
and jagged the nipping need

I had for you.
I wake up pounding the insides of a fourty,
chugging ashes of the man I was before.
There's no you at the edge of the glass.
I taste hops.

I wake up throwing
guts and trophies on the bedroom floor
and where the hell are you
to clean this mess?

Clean your mess
you left me swaddled in.