Thursday, November 10

Free Write 1, Week 11

Vive La France

I'd like to morph into a French girl.
French women release 20 percent
of their income, like ravens, on lingerie.
Their sums spin silver into lacy straps,
to silken camisoles shaded with seduction.
For French women, flirting is oral
prostitution, the good kind. It is the finest art,
and great work requires investments. They sell
the playful conversations that men want
with the shaping figurines that women need.

French women are the country's Degas,
the continental Ghiberti's, the world's 
Wordsworth--they know movement 
in flecked hips, they know the shape 
and outline of the romances they execute.
If I was a golden French woman, my lips
would be fleshy raspberries, swollen, leaking
the musky fragrance of my fantasies,
whispering destined jargon deciphered only
through touch--like brail, I'd teach you how 
to see through my Chanel skirts, right up
until you see my zebra-print V-kini, my
bubblegum boylegs, my forbidden granny
panties, and as you yank them with the enamel
of your teeth I'd whisper French words,
whisper les femme françaises, until the mysteries
of our simmering desire can transform,
until the sweetness of our French kisses list
and become another obligation, another job,
another long and teasing chore.

Improv 1, Week 11

Improv of Ai's Salome:

Daisies to Brighten Up the Room

I pick at the stray strand on my blue shirt
watching it unravel between my fingers.
It frays, the way the edges of my mind would,
if I could forget.
But what if I did lose you,
those lazy afternoons,
mid-summer educated,
and like a childish scholar
devoured preteen pages on the trail.
Even the crisp sound slithering,
hissing into droopy lids
and folding in upon itself.
I felt as if the words were airy;
I was lifted.
You were young and distracted.
That she was my sister never mattered.
The fractions of our genes never matched anyway.
The three of us galvanized in a thick slosh
of confidence, weighed by intimacy. Friend secrets.
That strawberry and leather smell
out of the bulbous bottle I gave her
scraped against your wrinkled collar
and your tongues melted. How many seconds?
I was not there to count them
but the swift moments I glimpsed away from the pages
went forever, as if nothing could stop you
from collapsing into exclusivity,
then the book fell: Still air snapped,
Your eyes, the pulsed sapphires,
the shape of your hands on her shoulders,
so unlike intimacy, I thought.
And then my feet moved in accelerando
No, they flew notes beneath me
and abandoned my heart on the stones.
I could hear it, its final hacking coughs.
I could see your faces, fallen and fixed,
but my feet played on, abandoning you
and at the exact same moment,
the book cried and shivered in the summer heat,
the pages shaking with its breath,
spilling letters onto my fingertips
and typing flesh from hands to cheeks
until my skin, throbbing and awake,
so that when my feet slowed down,
I felt even my lashes stretch and yawn
spilling release smoother than gardenia petals
into the auburn sunshine.
I fingered the book in my hand,
soothing its emotional outbursts.
Of course I care, you said. My book whispered
fiction. I folded the corner down on its page
and set it down on the tabletop.
After a while, staring at the cover, I recalled
Japanese myths about the red string of fate
that tied lovers pinkies to one another
and watched our string, like a suicidal snake,
snip and hit the ground.

Junkyard Quote 2-4, Week 11

--"She had the geography of Dixie on her tongue." --Dr. MacComb on Zora Neale Hurston
--"We're not just regurgitating out to some idol." --Spencer
--"A skeleton with a hangover." --Dr. Davidson

Sign-Inventory 1, Week 11

AGAIN.


Salome


I scissor the stem of the red carnation
and set it in a bowl of water.
It floats the way your head would,   
if I cut it off.
But what if I tore you apart   
for those afternoons
when I was fifteen
and so like a bird of paradise   
slaughtered for its feathers.   
Even my name suggested wings,   
wicker cages, flight.
Come, sit on my lap, you said.   
I felt as if I had flown there;   
I was weightless.
You were forty and married.
That she was my mother never mattered.
She was a door that opened onto me.
The three of us blended into a kind of somnolence
and musk, the musk of Sundays. Sweat and sweetness.   
That dried plum and licorice taste
always back of my tongue
and your tongue against my teeth,
then touching mine. How many times?—
I counted, but could never remember.
And when I thought we’d go on forever,
that nothing could stop us
as we fell endlessly from consciousness,
orders came: War in the north.   
Your sword, the gold epaulets,   
the uniform so brightly colored,   
so unlike war, I thought.
And your horse; how you rode out the gate.
No, how that horse danced beneath you
toward the sound of cannon fire.
I could hear it, so many leagues away.
I could see you fall, your face scarlet,
the horse dancing on without you.
And at the same moment,
Mother sighed and turned clumsily in the hammock,   
the Madeira in the thin-stemmed glass
spilled into the grass,
and I felt myself hardening to a brandy-colored wood,
my skin, a thousand strings drawn so taut   
that when I walked to the house   
I could hear music
tumbling like a waterfall of China silk   
behind me.
I took your letter from my bodice.   
Salome, I heard your voice,
little bird, fly. But I did not.
I untied the lilac ribbon at my breasts   
and lay down on your bed.
After a while, I heard Mother's footsteps,   
watched her walk to the window.   
I closed my eyes
and when I opened them
the shadow of a sword passed through my throat   
and Mother, dressed like a grenadier,
bent and kissed me on the lips.

Ai

--repetition of cutting and blades throughout the piece, varying from the scissors in the beginning to the sword at the end. 
--Ai suggests relationships without explicitly implying, for instance, a relationship between the speaker and the "you" and the mother. From the situation, it appears the speaker is having a relationship with their mother's husband. There is some implied distance between mother and speaker--"she was a door that opened onto me." 
--airy feeling maintained throughout the work: floats, bird, feathers, wings, etc.
--Repetition of "s" sound: "The three of us blended into a kind of somnolence /
and musk, the musk of Sundays. Sweat and sweetness."
--Poem maintains a slow, almost lazy tone. 
--Repetition of colors in the work, "gold, scarlet, brandy-colored, and lilac"


Sign-Inventory 1, Week 11

I'm going to do Salomé by Ai.



I scissor the stem of the red carnation
and set it in a bowl of water.
It floats the way your head would,   
if I cut it off.
But what if I tore you apart   
for those afternoons
when I was fifteen
and so like a bird of paradise   
slaughtered for its feathers.   
Even my name suggested wings,   
wicker cages, flight.
Come, sit on my lap, you said.   
I felt as if I had flown there;   
I was weightless.
You were forty and married.
That she was my mother never mattered.
She was a door that opened onto me.
The three of us blended into a kind of somnolence
and musk, the musk of Sundays. Sweat and sweetness.   
That dried plum and licorice taste
always back of my tongue
and your tongue against my teeth,
then touching mine. How many times?—
I counted, but could never remember.
And when I thought we’d go on forever,
that nothing could stop us
as we fell endlessly from consciousness,
orders came: War in the north.   
Your sword, the gold epaulets,   
the uniform so brightly colored,   
so unlike war, I thought.
And your horse; how you rode out the gate.
No, how that horse danced beneath you
toward the sound of cannon fire.
I could hear it, so many leagues away.
I could see you fall, your face scarlet,
the horse dancing on without you.
And at the same moment,
Mother sighed and turned clumsily in the hammock,   
the Madeira in the thin-stemmed glass
spilled into the grass,
and I felt myself hardening to a brandy-colored wood,
my skin, a thousand strings drawn so taut   
that when I walked to the house   
I could hear music
tumbling like a waterfall of China silk   
behind me.
I took your letter from my bodice.   
Salome, I heard your voice,
little bird, fly. But I did not.
I untied the lilac ribbon at my breasts   
and lay down on your bed.
After a while, I heard Mother's footsteps,   
watched her walk to the window.   
I closed my eyes
and when I opened them
the shadow of a sword passed through my throat   
and Mother, dressed like a grenadier,
bent and kissed me on the lips.

Repetitive images of blades and cutting from the stems in the beginning, to the mother's sword at the end. 


Classmate Response 2, Week 11

Queenie's Free Entry 1, Week 11:

This is so funny. I love it. I'll be brief on this one and probably line pick.

Second line: little awkward to repeat "bounce" so closely together. Consider the left leg to be bouncing something else. I think since the rest of the image is clearly grounded, you can go a little strange with what is bouncing.

Fourth line: Nit-picky, but I'm hoping you won't mind. I have a problem with the adjective cold. Me, personally, if my ears are cold I want them covered. So I don't brush my hair away. Not that I keep my hair down a lot, so that's why I'm saying this is simply nitpicky. Perhaps describe the flesh or shape of the ear instead of simply "cold." You can probably go a little wild with this description as well, because throughout the piece you did a good job of making clear what is actually happening.

6th line, blue following the image of "rubies" of cigarette falls a little flat.
7th line, I'm still waiting on someone to elaborate on that, it's such a great idea that it makes me want more of the Modern Day Huck Finn.
8th line, perhaps "Hey AND Hello" rather than "or"

Lines 11-14 are my favorite lines in this piece. What wonderful imagery and a great sliding feeling to the words. Consider condensing is my only suggestion here.

By about the 16th line I'm confused as to where the "I" came from. I feel like this is about the time where we can go off subject some, discover the other subject probably and maintain the "I" of the speaker.

Overall, clever. Spencer should like this, and if he doesn't, I do. Hope this helps.