Luckily I blab a lot because I forgot to word count this comment!! Do you include who you posted it to? I suppose you would need to for confirmation purposes. This was on deedairyan's freewrite I believe.
Response:
"I love lists in poetry. It takes an impressive attention to detail to create a meter that its continuous throughout the work but still not sacrificing enough of the list to make sense.
So I loved the section in the beginning about your grandmother's recipe. The words created their own bounce that I wish would have continued throughout the rest of the work. Perhaps trying spreading the recipe out. In fact, I found this to be the most home-familiar part of the work. Who doesn't understand the smells of home-cooking? Mom or grandma blowing up the house with all those savory smells? I think these memories create familiarity without being heavy emotionally.
I understand you're from New Orleans, if I remember correctly? (I could be way off base of course, if so, forgive me.) I think you can find a way to combine the New Orleans flavors more thoroughly with that wonderful Louisiana flair.
I think this got me excited"
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