I like the details the beginning opens with--five hues of blue, though I admit I do not agree with its repetition at the end. I feel like you recognized the intrigue of this line and decided to reuse it, but in repeating it the image loses its initial appeal. The first stanza as a whole is my favorite. It creates a vivid setting and sets weird language next to each other that presents itself as unique and odd--in a good way. I like the weird idea of hearing an acorn falling, especially with the booming echoing about the speaker. I feel like there was more attempt to focus on why the acorn fell instead of focusing on why the speaker would single out this one thing. What more is more insignificant than a falling acorn? I have tons of them on my driveway, so why this one sound? Of course there could be some ways to tie in how it fell into the wonder behind why notice at all, but I feel like this is a focus in this piece that is not touched.
I feel like the 15th line is missing an article or something?
Who are the two tiny eyes? It's not established and the description isn't specific enough to make judgement. I imagine it's the squirrel again? Perhaps the intruder isn't needed here. I feel it takes purpose off the subject yet to be addressed here. Too many things happening muddles your pretty way of handling images, and it gets confusing. Hope this Helps.
No comments:
Post a Comment