First attempt ever at a sestina.
In Picking Up Women
may eat, or mount, or catch Angela's
hips and do multiplication on tables
because after arguments you extend the olive
branch. And brunch is lucky charms,
magically delicious in the steeping pot.
Pirate booty steeping in the pot,
stewing a brew more bejeweled than Christmas.
Who could ever resist your charms?
Flex up against heaven, my Angel.
Lift your words in an impediment for Olive
Oyl. Then collect girls in a charming tableau.
Look for ladies with more legs than tables,
and who knows the rims of pans and pots,
and can sizzle sautees in oiled olives.
May her knees be more crossed than Christians
but mistake her for no low-flying angel
less she betwixt you with her charm.
Only McGorgeous has arched arms
though Lady Liberty in crook carries tablets
more green than two lips bloomed in Angela's
garden. Sprouting roots in their flower pots,
their leaves intermingling and criss-
crossing in shades of forest and olive.
Never admit to her that our love
is every grain in the Sahara charming
thoughts of equation. Unless Chris
is sure he's Mr. Right angle on cornered tables.
Farm roosters in the cock pot--
crock pot, wafting alien smells to Angela
who's purely out of this world, this angle
and corner of a earth rounder than olives.
Hotter than spring greens in a summer pot
we sizzle in your hunka hunka burning charms.
All a game until we turn the tables
and then all things become ludicrous.
Then girls are not angelic, but become hexed charms.
Gamble over martini olives, and play skillfully at tables
to chance the jackpot. And tips the scales away from Chris.
You have no idea how much I enjoy this. In particular, I love how you played around with the last word in each line. For example: "Chris" (1), "Christmas" (8), "Christians" (16), and "criss-" (23). ESPECIALLY "criss-" (23). Do you realize how amazing that is? I never once considered breaking a word into syllables like that in order to play off another word--in this case, of course, "Chris."
ReplyDeleteSince this is a calisthenic and not necessarily a complete piece, I am weary to point out the cliche "olive branch" (though, just as you did with "Chris," I love that you used "Olive / Oyl"--so damn original).
For your first sestina, this is pretty damn fantastic.
Thanks. You're absolutely right to point out my use the of the cliche. I actually tried breaking a few cliche rules and I think it's because the word olive was a real struggle for me to be original with. I even used "our love" because it sounded like "olive," though I was especially wary of using the L-word. But I appreciate the compliments in regards to my enjambments and perhaps if you have any suggestions (?) I'd be open to them. Thanks for the comment, Chris.
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