This is Tim's allotted Calisthenic: The "Thing". I started writing about this stupid gnat that just flew by my face a couple times. I remember being told that gnats are attracted to water, and that the Egyptians put those black rings of coal (kohl?) around their eyes to actually keep them away from their pupils. So I guess my focus was the gnats search for water. I have no idea how this ended up taking a religious context. I suppose I couldn't help myself, and I fear it was too heavy-handed. Ah well. I loved this calisthenic because... well actually, one of my favorite poems is Donne's "The Flea". I love the idea of taking something so everyday--so insignificant, and then making it this huge deal. I like the new perspective. I think one of my better poems was taking something typical and making it clever. This is no where near the level of Donne, but here it is on the chopping block. Enjoy?
The Gnat
Incessant search for substance
seeking crevices with quenching
fountains of youth, reeking
with the stench of fermented
fruits--Eve's sin browned.
Home is that molded potato
lurched in the stinking chasm
of that forgotten trash bag.
Crucified by maggots darting
in last's months T-bone, Roaches
like nomads, unimpressed.
But you will grow by thousands
and as the meek, this world is yours
to swarm and divulge. Forever
searching, haunting every eye
and nostril, hovering for the hope
of liquid salvation--the kind fresh
out the faucet;Wading in the baptismal
pool. Until then you beat your wings
and search just over the radar.
I found this to be written quite cleverly. It's an interesting combination of bugs and religion. This defiantly could be analyzed deeply when seeking meaning and interpretation.
ReplyDeleteThe opening line its self is just brilliant. I mean it describes the personality of a gnat in four words. A bug that is so annoying and nagging and bothersome as it seeks what it desires. "Incessant search for substance" And then the lines seem to alternate between a bug and religious background talk, all while still describing the bug, in the first stanza.
I love how you provided a lot of visualization in your words. I don't really know what advice to give because as a reader I feel satisfied by what I just read.