Classmate Response 2, Week 1

Addressed to Jami's Improv:

I'm actually impressed by how much the meaning of a poem can change by just replacing the nouns. I think what you have here is what is meant by, "the best works are stolen." Whether it's your best work however, stands to be tested as this is my first introduction to how you write, but all the same I look forward to seeing what you can produce. But to end the babbling and skip to the constructive stuff...


I think the pitfall when it comes to focusing on producing a noun-based madlib is that you try to keep each noun around a cohesive theme. Thus you tend to lose on variety. Instead of thinking about the other elements you could include within the poem, you instead focus on: "Does this make sense with the rest of it?" Or, if you're like me you think of one central idea, in this case--alcoholism--and then you try to think of as much as you can about that word.


Which, don't get me wrong, it's a fantastic way to brainstorm and what you have here feels like a wonderful rough draft, a greatly coherent brainstorm. You have good material to work with.  My favorite line is "riding on liquid rainbows and hailstorms."


I think you have images here that you could run wild with. I think the hardest part in brainstorming is to run off from the original ideas and keep searching into what else you can produce. 


For instance, "ideas and drunken stupors." I think that "specificity" thing kicks in here. Ideas are too general. What ideas? Describe a drunken stupor for me. You set yourself up for interesting works. I personally think you have really good potential from this. I'm really looking forward to reading what else you have.